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View Full Version : The three most told lies in texas???...



whitewalls
10-27-2004, 12:22 AM
Dayum, there are so many Texans in here that I thought now might be a good time to remind YAWL what the 3 most told lies in Texas are. (1) "I won this belt buckle at a rodeo". (2) Yepppp, my truck's ALL PAID FOR". (3) "Now Officer, I was jes helpin' that sheep over the fence". DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS. groucho

Wrake
10-27-2004, 01:32 AM
(3) "Now Officer, I was jes helpin' that sheep over the fence". [/b]

LOL!!!

-Wrake

HoustonFatboy
10-27-2004, 01:45 AM
Dayum, there are so many Texans in here that I thought now might be a good time to remind YAWL what the 3 most told lies in Texas are. (1) "I won this belt buckle at a rodeo". (2) Yepppp, my truck's ALL PAID FOR". (3) "Now Officer, I was jes helpin' that sheep over the fence". DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS. groucho

another jealous and envious floooridian.

Plano-Hog
10-27-2004, 05:13 AM
drunks and sheep

-T

RANCHHAND
10-27-2004, 05:19 AM
Dayum, there are so many Texans in here that I thought now might be a good time to remind YAWL what the 3 most told lies in Texas are. (1) "I won this belt buckle at a rodeo". (2) Yepppp, my truck's ALL PAID FOR". (3) "Now Officer, I was jes helpin' that sheep over the fence". DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS. groucho

another jealous and envious floooridian.

Don't worry about it HoustonFB.He's just jealous because alligators fight back.We can just slip the back legs of them sheep into the knee high boots we all wear. :wacko:

TexasFatBoy
10-27-2004, 03:28 PM
Dayum, there are so many Texans in here that I thought now might be a good time to remind YAWL what the 3 most told lies in Texas are. (1) "I won this belt buckle at a rodeo". (2) Yepppp, my truck's ALL PAID FOR". (3) "Now Officer, I was jes helpin' that sheep over the fence". DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS. groucho

another jealous and envious floooridian.

Don't worry about it HoustonFB.He's just jealous because alligators fight back.We can just slip the back legs of them sheep into the knee high boots we all wear. :wacko:

:lol: Thought that's what barbed wire fences were for - get 'em half way over....

Plano-Hog
10-27-2004, 03:39 PM
flasher.gif No they are REAL

gliderider94
10-27-2004, 04:44 PM
Any Scotsman with half a brain will tell ya, if your gonna do a sheep, take him to the edge of a cliff. That way, when you push, the sheep will push back.

You guys don't know shit about sheep fuckin!!!

:lol: :lol:

Wide
10-27-2004, 05:07 PM
Any Scotsman with half a brain will tell ya, if your gonna do a sheep, take him to the edge of a cliff. That way, when you push, the sheep will push back.

You guys don't know shit about sheep fuckin!!!

:lol: :lol:


O Shit :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

gliderider94
10-27-2004, 05:45 PM
I have a tee-shirt with a cartoon picture of a very bewildered sheep on it and a logo from "Sheep Fucker's - Local 69" on the back. On the front it says, in three inch high letters. "I Fuck Sheep". I once forgot I had this shirt on and we stopped for dinner at a Cracker Barrel restaurant and the manager refused to serve us. God help that guy if I can ever get ahold of his sheep.

:lol:

RHSquonk
10-27-2004, 06:07 PM
I have a tee-shirt with a cartoon picture of a very bewildered sheep on it and a logo from "Sheep Fucker's - Local 69" on the back. On the front it says, in three inch high letters. "I Fuck Sheep". I once forgot I had this shirt on and we stopped for dinner at a Cracker Barrel restaurant and the manager refused to serve us. God help that guy if I can ever get ahold of his sheep.

:lol:
OK Bear...now your just scaring the living crap outta me!
:lol:
-RHS

rwpatton
10-27-2004, 11:05 PM
There used to be a bar in Brownsville TX. called 'The crazy lemon' the front of the shirt said'CrazyLemon, where men are men and sheep are nervous'
on the back it said 'I love ewe!' :lol:

RW

HoustonFatboy
10-28-2004, 02:34 AM
ya'll, not yawl are nuts!!!!! groucho

whitewalls
10-31-2004, 12:16 AM
[/b]Actually, I may be a tad envious of Texas come to think of it..I did get MARRIED in HOUSTON, I HONEYMOONED in San Antone and the best part is I got DEEVORCED in Austin. My EX still LIVES in Texas and occassionally I DO get a chance to stop down and SEE HER YOUNGER SISTER... groucho. I love those bars down there that roll up 2 sides of the the building for ventilation ...what the hell are they called again? [/i]

curley725
10-31-2004, 01:48 AM
they call them "icehouses" and they are all over the place!!!!! bottomsup drunks bottomsup

ive got 2 ex's in texas those 2 drove me :wacko: :wacko: :wacko:

curley B)

wreckerman
10-31-2004, 01:14 PM
I am surprised to hear them called icehouses, here in the north we would call them drive-thru taverns. We already have drive-thru liquor stores, where you just drive your vehicle into the store, clerk gets you what you want, and after paying you drive away. Now a drive-thru tavern, could be a great concept, kind of like an old "dog-n-suds" can you say "yeehaw" and there would be no need for bike checks or bar stools, however a game of pool or darts might prove to be interesting. :D

curley725
10-31-2004, 01:27 PM
when i lived in waco there was a place called suds and duds it was a laundrymat with a beerjoint connected by a door. you could watch your wash by the lights above the bar and when all lights were lit all machines running beer was free. i had a washer and dryer and still went there :lol: :lol: :lol:


curley

wreckerman
10-31-2004, 01:42 PM
now that is my kind of laundry mat. bottomsup

TexasFatBoy
10-31-2004, 06:58 PM
Icehouses aren't drive thru, just pretty much open air - open on both sides to let the breeze blow through. We do have drive thru beer pickup though, just no taverns.

gliderider94
11-01-2004, 06:18 PM
We have one drive thru beer and wine store (no liqour) here. Some of you guys around here may know about Jack's on Michigan Ave near Martin in Detroit. It started when a guy (Jack I suspect) owned a car wash and a beer store right next to each other. Jack origanaly just had a beer store and a narrow empty lot. Seing as the lot was narrow, and right next to the beer store, the entire parcel was recognized by the postal service as just one address. Later, a car wash was the only type of business wherein the building was skinny enough to allow for the legal opening of another business on the same lot. Some time after the car wash opened, the beer store burned down. While Jack prepared to rebuild the beer store, he discovered that since the beer store and the car wash had the same address, and, there was no actuall law that prevented a car wash from selling beer and wine (if they could get a license) Jack decided to sell beer at the car wash and set up sales near the exit where you could by beer and wine after your car was done. He soon found that one business enhanced the other. Some time later beer sales far outpaced car wash sales and he discontinued the car wash and now had a drive through beer store. The local community and the liqour control commission were enraged (although I have no idea why) but, the law was clear that there was no reason why you couldn't have a drive thru beer store. And that's the story behind Jack's drive thru beer. Awsome in it's simplicity. I just don't know why there aren't more.

drunks What? I can get fucked up without having to get out of my car. GREAT!!! Of course I guess this is where you would by your beer if you were on you way to a drive in movie theater, right.

rwpatton
11-03-2004, 11:28 PM
A big belt buckle is a tombstone for a dead dick. :P

3 biggest texas lies/at deer camp

1. 'We got plenty of beer.' Some asshole will always say this when you call up to deer camp in a dry county. Y'a get there and in 2 hours a'int no beer left and y'a gott'a drive 70 miles to get some. Rule # 1 always bring a couple of cases with y'a.


2. 'Naaw I a'int mad.' Bullshit just about the time you turn your back some guy will either hand you a beer he pissed in or bait your bunk with sugar so when y'a go to bed the fire ants are having a party biting your feet cause the bastard put the sugar at the end of the bed so y'a don't see'em.

3. 'Y'all go on, I'll catch up with y'all. Personally my favorite when it's raining and 38 degree's and 4:30 am. Only drawback is if y'a don't wake up before the SOB's come back yer likely to wake up to a deer ass or some other bloody undesireable animal part on your head,mouth or pillow.

Anybody want to go hunting. :P

RW