Got this from a mailing list I subscript to for work. Thought it was amusing
What your car says about you:
Acura NSX I'm an impotent dentist
Acura TL I'm too bland for German cars. I like sporty Buicks
Buick Park Avenue I'm older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado I was a Mary Kay representative
Cadillac Escalade I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Cadillac Sle I'm a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro I'm out on parole
Chevrolet Corvette Ladies! I'm divorced and available.
Dodge Dart I teach third grade and I voted for Eisenhower
Ford Crown Victoria I enjoy looking like a traffic cop, I get people to slow down
Ford Mustang I slow down to 80mph in school zones
Ford Taurus I like driving rental/company cars
Honda Civic I'm in the 11th grade
Honda Accord (old) I'm in the 12th grade
Honda Accord (new) I have no originality
Infiniti I'm a physician with too many malpractice suits pending against me to afford a Mercedes
Jaguar XJ6 I'm so rich I don't give a damn what JD Powers says
Kia Sephia I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu
Lincoln Town Car I live for bingo
Mercedes 500SL Don't even think of asking me for an autograph
Mazda Miata I have no fear of being decapitated by an 18-wheeler
Olds Cutlass I just stole this car
Plymouth Neon Hey, at least it was cheap.
Pontiac Trans Am I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 911 My divorce is almost final
Porsche Boxster My divorce is final and I'm stuck with the house payments
Saturn Ion Look, my dad bought me a sports car
Subaru Forester I went to college where the girls didn't shave their armpits
Toyota Camry I am still in the closet
Volkswagen Cabriolet I am out of the closet
Volkswagen Bus I am tripping right now
Volvo Wagon I'm afraid of my wife
__________________________________________________ __________________________
What They are Saying on the Internet Automobile Forums
The typical post goes something like this...
Mercedes forum
- My wife and her a-hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court. How do I get them both killed and not get in trouble with my medical board?
Bentley Forums
- I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?
Camaro/Firebird Forums
- My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I have a record and I ain't going back.
Mustang forums
-Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me.
Monte Carlo forums
-Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo.
Civic forums
-Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me.
VW Bug forum
- The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)
Yugo Forum
- When's the last time yours ran?
Lamborghini forum
- Wind noise around 210MPH
Miata forums
- Some redneck jackass in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics)
Chevy Tahoe forum
- Are gas prices going down any time soon?
Pontiac Fiero forum
- Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics)
BMW 7-series forum
- Where to get service on my Rolex?
Cadillac forum
- Problems parallel parking at bingo.
Buick Forum
- Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me?
Delorean forum
- Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985.
Crown Victoria forum
- How come people don't never pass me on the highway?
Honda Accord forum
- Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims.
Toyota Echo forum
- Do our cars use AAA or AA's?
Ferrari forums
- Need suggestions about a business trip to Columbia. Want to get in and out fast.
Porsche forums
- Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself?
Saturn forums
- Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.
Jaguar
- Is the carbon fiberh kit group-buy still on?
Mini
- Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie company. (pics)
Dodge Viper forum
- I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get pee stains out of the leather?
McLarean F1 forum
-Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.
Dodge Minivan forum
- Where's the best place to post the soccer schedule so I don't forget where I'm supposed to be?
Hummer forum
- Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in gas.
Fiat forum
-Hello? Am I the only member?
Subaru WRX forum
- I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot.
Chevy pickup forum
- How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah truck?
.-/c-.,_ /
(_)'==(_)
"parts left out cost nothing and create no service problems" Boss Kettering
LOL
Porsche forum; "One should never exceed speed limits on the street. Keep the racing on the track."
BTW: Porsche's do not come with spare tires. To save weight they give you a can of inflate a tire. My '04 was one of the last years they came with a spare.
Life is best experienced in the company of a woman.
Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker
I'm not here for a long time I'm here for a good time.
I'm tripping right now
I almost cut my hair, it happened just the other day.
It was gettin' kinda long, I could've said it was in my way.
But I didn't and I wonder why, I feel like letting my freak flag fly
I love reading these
cracks me up
.-/c-.,_ /
(_)'==(_)
"parts left out cost nothing and create no service problems" Boss Kettering
Wide musta deleted all the Ferrari comments.
Edits: nope I see them now
lol
Life is best experienced in the company of a woman.
Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker
I'm not here for a long time I'm here for a good time.
Sorry just got back from a quick business trip, did I miss something?Originally Posted by Wild1Poet2
.-/c-.,_ /
(_)'==(_)
"parts left out cost nothing and create no service problems" Boss Kettering
Nope I was accusing you of deleting all the Ferrari quips. But I see there's a few in there.
Which reminds me, I saw my first Ferrari of the year the other day. Don't see many here. Maybe once or twice a year. Super car sightings are way down this year. I saw a Ford GT back in the spring. And that was it.
Life is best experienced in the company of a woman.
Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker
I'm not here for a long time I'm here for a good time.
WOW really. I remember that. Here they are like Mercedes are back east. Have to see 5-10 a day
.-/c-.,_ /
(_)'==(_)
"parts left out cost nothing and create no service problems" Boss Kettering
I went to this little sandwich shop out in the burbs a year or two back and there was a AMG S65 parked in front with the biturbo V12 motor. Everyone was just walking past it on the sidewalk like it was a regular merc. I just stood there and was stunned.
Life is best experienced in the company of a woman.
Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker
I'm not here for a long time I'm here for a good time.
BMW: stands for Bash My Widshield
BEAR GREENBUD
Tribe of the Twelve Trees
Smokalottabud Nation
__________
"It's O.K. to be freaked out when it's over. But if you weren't diggin it at least a little bit when it was going down then you're in the wrong fucking place."
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