QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! when I am drinking , feel free to answer any that you can
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? and why does the last peace stay there forever?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? also why do ATM pads have brail on them , but you have to read the touch screen
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
and why is it always on that setting, when you use it ?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
well the same goes for the old man , when he cant ride his scooter
may you always have two set's of foot prints in the sands of life
Bucket list are for Sissie, men do it while they can enjoy it
Them are good questions.
Life is best experienced in the company of a woman.
Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker
I'm not here for a long time I'm here for a good time.
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! when I am drinking , feel free to answer any that you can
I did, and posted below.
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
Rape, but she can never prove it.
Can you cry under water?
Yes. Crying isn't location-dependent.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
An average of at least five newspaper references per month in the preceeding three years.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
No idea where it's going, but it's due to some people being more generous than others.
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Another example of why this idiotic concept of heaven makes no sense. What would a stillborn baby do in heaven? The afterlife is for souls ... remember "dust to dust"?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? and why does the last peace stay there forever?
1. Cheaper to manufacture. 2. Not in my house.
What disease did cured ham actually have?
Not being able to last long enough.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Because no U.S. president declared, "We will have wheels on luggage by 1970."
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
It's the sleeping part they're referencing, not the waking.
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? also why do ATM pads have brail on them , but you have to read the touch screen
1. Yes. Signing is considered "hearing" for deaf people. 2. Some noble engineer foresaw a day when the machines would speak. Computers are already great phone conversationalists.
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
The word "a". Movie is the collection of stillframes; TV is a box. In a TV? I'd get claustrophobia.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
A change in perspective.
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
Victorian principles are still prevalent in today's society. Matter of "appearances".
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Bra -- one chest. Panties -- two legs.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
and why is it always on that setting, when you use it ?
It's not just for toast. Try a deep-frozen waffle.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
It's "Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care." Another egoist who thinks his opinion matters to other people.
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
Of course it can. Legally? Up to the particular municipality.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
He did fix it. Just couldn't drag the boat from the jungle back to the water.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
Disney had a sense of humor.
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
He's a predator, not a suburbanite.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
A homogeneous mixture of alkanes in the C15 to C40 range from a non-vegetable (mineral) source. And don't forget the perfumes.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Only in certain political parties.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Up to a certain point.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Didn't have sheet music for each in front of me.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Note the "h" in rhoid.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
well the same goes for the old man , when he cant ride his scooter
may you always have two set's of foot prints in the sands of life.
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.
‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›
fantastic answer, out standing thank you for all of your incite, got any snow your way yet? and did you hear why Iowa does not have a NFL teem ?? because then Minnesota would want one also LMAO
Bucket list are for Sissie, men do it while they can enjoy it
I wonder what babies do talk about in Heaven? Do you think the old men angels look down upon the young men angels as being stupid?
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